April 25, 2012

ABOUT SOMETHING!!!!! - "RANTS AND RAVES!"




Having Fun at the Hypnodrome Theatre. Closing soon. 

 ABOUT SOMETHING!!!
Also called "Rants and Raves!"


RANTS - RAVES


RIHANNA SAYS SHE'S INTERESTED IN  PLAYING WHITNEY HOUSTON

GAVIN NEWSOM, EX-MAYOR OF SANFRANCISCO and now Lieutenant governor is shooting for a weekly show on Current TV. And him being sort of a Hollywood type guy he will be the leading man on Current. Celebs wanna know --how much wax will it take to keep each hair in place? I guess being The Prince of Sacramento is just not enough for him.

So, here's the deal. 49er fans that bought expensive prime seats ñ will find themselves Seat-less -- when the team starts to kick the sh-t out of each other. To say nothing about, the loving fans. Or will they love the team as much, when they find out how much it will cost the fans to sit in the Palace of Santa Clara. Hey, here’s an Idea. At intermission -- they can put on a Ballet. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the balls?

ANOTHER CIRCUS, is the crazy leaders of the Muni system. It’s just not fun enough as it is. You know with all the non-payers and all the drug addicts, and smelly passengers that drag tons of empty cans on the buses is just not entertaining enough. No, it isn’t. So, now they have come up with an insane idea: Gee, lets give all the youngsters free rides so they can harass and stir up more sh-t on the Muni slow way. You know -- their motto is -- Lets go as slow as we can till all the old ladies and old men die on the buses. Oh, I get it -- this is a road show. I guess the Muni-Mgmt will turn the buses into a gross rolling stage. How about The Barber of Seville? Since the kids will be on the bus there will be double seating. The younger ones will sit on the laps of the older people. Sure it’s a little uncomfortable, but so much fun for the little tikes. Now all together, lets all sing an Aria from Aida. Enjoy the ride.

How many congressmen take bribes? Celebs wanna know? The answer: A lot! -- says one celeb. But then, money is better than pigeon droppings. Ooops -- some just dropped on a baldhead. That’s O.K. There’s nothing in it.

OH! THE WICKED STAGE

TERRANCE MCNALLEY (Playwright) has written many really great plays. Now, he or someone has come up with a documentary of his hit play Corpus Christi. It’s all about Jesus being gay. But, hey that’s not the first time that people have begun to think that. Nothing wrong with Jesus being Gay -- as long as he can heal everyone. He’s not picky. Anyway, back to the Documentary. I saw a brief little segment on the computer. From what I saw so far I was not terribly impressed. I loved McNally’s play on the stage -- but talking about how and why it was put together is more like listening to a furry faced Professor trying to tell us what it’s all about. Hey there Prof -- Watcha got cooking? Oh nothing? That’s what I thought. It will have a premiere showing at the Castro. I, the evil critic wasn’t invited. And, I do so love the Castro Theatre. Tsk-Tsk!

RAVES!

NOW LETS WALK DOWN THE PATH OF PARADISE, SIN AND THEATRE

NOW HERE’S A START. SOMEONE NEEDS TO WRITE A PLAY ABOUT LADAMER PUTIN. Afterall, no one can find his wife. She has mysteriously vanished. On second thought maybe a play wouldn’t work. I think something stronger would be better like maybe La Boheme. I can hear Putin, singing his sad Arias right now. Oh, how glorious! Yes, I’m having a nightmare! And, I’m also crazy. But being a person of great charm and considerable spirit, I will continue to bring new plays into your world.

AT THE SAN FRANCISCO PLAYHOUSE is another fantastic play, (The Aliens) which you should see. The Annie Baker play is about a patio and some band-mates that hang out on a cafÈ patio. Here is my quote: “It’s a tightly constructed terrific play. You can find the complete reviews at beyondchron and also on “For All Events -Critics World.” Hurry closes on May 5th. Watch for the next fantastic play at the SF Playhouse. Always -- top-notch performers.

Last Chance to see the intriguing  ‘The Laramie Project -10 Years Later’ -- at the New Conservatory Theatre. The show is about murder, hope, anger and denial. Compelling!

HOT GREEKS! At the Hypnodrome. This newly restored version of the famed Cockettes 1972 musical comedy runs through May 19. Nudity, semi-nudity, buggering, and other wonderful delights await you at the Hypnodrome. This is a laugh a minute show in this exaggerated,  drop your Togas show. See it -- while you can. It’s a Blast!

When Rihanna was asked about her interest in playing the legendary singer in a possible biopic, she said. "I mean who wouldn't be...it's Whitney Houston!" Her breakout film "Battleship" already is making $100M overseas, saying. "Isn't that insane?!" The movie opens on May 18. - extratv.com 

Will Rihanna play Whitney Houston on the Big Screen?


OPENING TONIGHT AT THE RRAZZ ROOM: The hilarious Varla Jean Merman. You're gonna love this terrific performer. Varla has a great voice - fab humor and of course hundreds of costumes. It's a must see.

(((Lee Hartgrave has contributed many articles to the San Francisco Chronicle Sunday Datebook and he has produced a long-running Arts Segment on PBS KQED))) 

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