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October 1, 2012

THE SATIRIC MAGAZINE AND CHARLES PIERCE



CHARLES PIERCE AS BABY JANE




THE SATIRIC MAGAZINE

“A COLUMN SO FURIOUSLY INTENSE AS TO COMMAND AWE” – EDGAR ALLEN POE

IF YOU HAVEN’T READ IT YET – YOU MUST READ CHARLES PIERCE’S “Drags to Riches” (written by John Wallraff.) It’s a real page-turner that is destined to drag (and I do mean DRAG - in the loot. This tell-all book about life on the wicked stage will certainly blow-dry your hair. At least what’s left of it. Wallraff has passed away – but the book is still selling and sizzling very well on Amazon.Com.

Gee, can you believe it. It is reported that Joan Rivers has had another face lift. But, you have to admit – she has a good surgeon. Looks pretty natural to me. But then – maybe I need better glasses. “My – isn’t Fame a Bitch?” But then, you know that.
 
Hey - and we’re not done yet. Behind the clichés of contemporary gossip there is a seismic zone in continuous upheaval. And yes – nothing in this column should be taken for granted…where anything can happen. Especially in the theaters that are virtually crumbling on top of their heavy boring shows. Yes, you got it. They are legends in their own minds. Don’t fret – this is not an English Language publication. However – we hear that Edgar Allen Poe would love today’s disasters on the stage. However we love to catch up on satire. It’s all so Romania. And of course there is our “The Bitchies” Column that was stolen by others – is now back on track. Please do send us your unpleasant little remarks. Not too long. Our readers fall asleep easily.

The Normal Heart is still getting them in at A.C.T. – but at lower prices. Interesting show – but closing soon. Do wear earplugs – the yelling and screaming at each other is like Iran and Iraq friendships. 

Yes, we get letters – but mostly in “Scat”. And they didn’t indicate that they left their Hearts in San Francisco.

TIDBIT TIME FROM THE ARCHIVES: Barbara Streisand as Momma Rose in Gypsy Rose Lee? It almost happened, but Steven Sondheim, Jule Styne and Arthur Laurents refused a proposed movie remake of the “Gypsy Rose Lee Story.” But here’s the kicker – they wanted Madonna as Baby Rose. Don’t think it ever happened. Now, I suppose you will let me know that I’m wrong. In those days the little ‘Naked Man” was clutching a star instead of a sword. But this cheap version is still sitting on Fireplace mantels. Myself – I only want a country.

If you think that this column resembles a MONTY PYTHON “ sketch about news” is just a Buzz Trap trying to teach readers a subtle lesson. It’s Texting time!

(((Lee Hartgrave has contributed many articles to the San Francisco Chronicle Sunday Datebook and he produced and hosted a long-running Arts Segment on PBS KQED)))

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