December 29, 2009


Dec. 28 2009



LET THE SHOW BEGIN. The footlights light up the floor – Red Curtains hang tantalizingly and there is a picture on the wall in Front of the Drapes over the Queenly Chair – of Josef Stalin.

The overture begins just like a big Broadway Musical Production. Then, the Star appears from behind the Red Drapes wearing a Red glittery Red Sequined Gown. To complete the look – she even has a sequined Hood to match.

This time around Katya also has New Hair. Now, she is no longer just a Russian Duchess – but the ‘Hostess with the Mostest” She purrs; “Darling’s I am so thrilled to be back in NCTC’s lovely Basement.

This is a Christmas spectacular and Tatya belts out the Earth Kitt hit – “Santa Baby” with some surprising new startling lyrics.

She jokes with the Piano player. “Stand-Up. Oh, you are standing Daaaarling!” Of course, he should have smacked her – but he didn’t. And the Elves that flitter in and out of the stage? Well, Katya has a way to get them too. “The Elves come and go. But I tell you Daaarling – I might even know their names by the end of the run.”

To the audience when someone dares too say something. Katya says sweetly – “I did not pay to hear you perform.” She brings up many big names, Barry Manilow, Jerry Herman (my very, very old friend – almost dead friend). Remember – this show is a farce. You can’t believe anything that comes out of a spoiled Duchess’s mouth.

Katya wears one stunning dress after another. It’s almost like a fashion show. Maybe her next show could be about a Russian Model, who used to be a countess. Heaven knows she has the outfits. Tatya claims to be related somehow to Stalin. He was so good to me – she says. “He taught me how to look interested when people are talking to you.” – as she said this – it dawned on me – Oh, my God! It’s Leona Helmsly, the Hotel Heiress.

She sang a vibrant song from Dreamgirls called “One Night Only” – only she turned it into “Eight Nights Only.” Near the end of the set – she gave us a rousing “Proud Mary” in a Silver Glitter short Dress. Tina Turner would probably have loved it – or socked her in the face.

At the very end – Katya looks Angelic for the Xmas show in a Gossamer Green flowing dress. She looked fresh and sophisticated. Really, I couldn’t be more serious – she really did look great.

So, here’s my advice. If you lose urine when you laugh, gasp or slap your knee – then you better not see Katya. Or bring a pot to catch any residue.


RATING: FOUR GLASSES OF CHAMPAGNE!!!! (highest rating) – trademarked-

(((Lee Hartgrave has contributed many articles to the San Francisco Chronicle Datebook and produced a long-running Arts Segment on PBS KQED)))

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